Maddow to Ohio women: ‘Welcome to your mandatory vaginal probe’ under new state budget | Repost.Us:
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Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Well Done
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I feel as though I am nothing but a liability. I have nothing to give any longer , I am not so sure I ever did for that matter. I have thought a lot about suicide lately, but that is so final. Maybe that would be the best though. All I ever do is cry any more I envision myself doing daily tasks but I never do them. Maybe that is what I should do is end it then maybe the pain would stop.Some times I wish I was never born. No one ever wanted me then and no one really wants me now . I have spent my whole life trying to fit in some where I don't feel like I belong any where I feel like it would be better for every one if I were not around any more. It would have been better for the world if I were never born
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I feel as though I am nothing but a liability. I have nothing to give any longer , I am not so sure I ever did for that matter. I have thought a lot about suicide lately, but that is so final. Maybe that would be the best though. All I ever do is cry any more I envision myself doing daily tasks but I never do them. Maybe that is what I should do is end it then maybe the pain would stop.Some times I wish I was never born. No one ever wanted me then and no one really wants me now . I have spent my whole life trying to fit in some where I don't feel like I belong any where I feel like it would be better for every one if I were not around any more. It would have been better for the world if I were never born
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Bobbie's Thoughts: The Ugly Duckling
Bobbie's Thoughts: The Ugly Duckling: "Hello, I would like to give an accounting of my life. I am baby that no-one wanted and later became the person no-one wanted. My mother ..."
The Ugly Duckling
Hello,
I would like to give an accounting of my life. I am baby that no-one wanted and later became the person no-one wanted. My mother never wanted me because I would get in the way of her being able to work and earn a living. I guess her parents really didn't want me because I ended up on my other grandmother's door step, my father's mother. Oh, and my father didn't want me because he didn't think that I was his. It was always his opinion that I was my uncle Johnny's boy and that I was my mother's and his bastard child. Of course I never knew that until I was about forty years old and into my second marriage of my own. At that time my 'father' wrote my a rather long letter explaining everything to me. To bad he didn't have the courage to tell me when I was little, I could have at least ran away! It seems that the only person who loved me at all even though I was the family cast away was my grandmother, my 'father's' mother. So I began my life with my grandmother. I believe that she loved me and that was very nice and I have found memories of the time I spent with her even unto this day, she was my guardian angel if you will ironically her name Angela. It was while I was growing into adolescence that I began to learn that there was a real difference between girls and boys and I seemed to be a duck out of water. I really became aware of the fact, anyway it seems that way to me now, that I had the wrong body parts. I really didn't like the way I was and so I tried to change it in a number of ways, of which I will not go into because the details do not really matter. The fact that I tried to alter, change and eliminate my contrary body parts should suffice. This struggle continues even unto this very day. There are many accounts that I really can't go into because of time and space, after all this a blog and not a book. I always felt throughout my life that I was on the outside looking in through my relationships, marriages and friendships. Even now it seems to have come full circle, with the revelation to my daughter that I am a trans gender woman, I am cast away once again. As was told to me I am dead to them.
Oh I know some of you reading this are thinking oh boo hoo little Bobbie has no one. Well that is true I don't, except for those who really don't know me and that are currently not in my immediate vicinity.. Please don't misunderstand me I am exceedingly thankful for all of you that have attempted to be compassionate, understanding, and loving. However, that still does not negate the reality that the relationships that are most valuable to me no longer exist, which has left my heart ripped open and exposed with me dying in the ditch at the side of the road. So throughout my life I have remained the ugly duckling that everyone has shunned! Why didn't they end my life with an abortion, at least that would have been merciful! You see unlike the well known story I never blossomed into a beautiful swan majestically swimming in the pond, being admired by everyone. I stayed ugly and unwanted, unneeded, and cast away. For all of you who are thinking suck it asshole you deserve all that you get! Try taking a walk in my shoes if you can, and we'll see if you remain so self-righteously critical!
I would like to give an accounting of my life. I am baby that no-one wanted and later became the person no-one wanted. My mother never wanted me because I would get in the way of her being able to work and earn a living. I guess her parents really didn't want me because I ended up on my other grandmother's door step, my father's mother. Oh, and my father didn't want me because he didn't think that I was his. It was always his opinion that I was my uncle Johnny's boy and that I was my mother's and his bastard child. Of course I never knew that until I was about forty years old and into my second marriage of my own. At that time my 'father' wrote my a rather long letter explaining everything to me. To bad he didn't have the courage to tell me when I was little, I could have at least ran away! It seems that the only person who loved me at all even though I was the family cast away was my grandmother, my 'father's' mother. So I began my life with my grandmother. I believe that she loved me and that was very nice and I have found memories of the time I spent with her even unto this day, she was my guardian angel if you will ironically her name Angela. It was while I was growing into adolescence that I began to learn that there was a real difference between girls and boys and I seemed to be a duck out of water. I really became aware of the fact, anyway it seems that way to me now, that I had the wrong body parts. I really didn't like the way I was and so I tried to change it in a number of ways, of which I will not go into because the details do not really matter. The fact that I tried to alter, change and eliminate my contrary body parts should suffice. This struggle continues even unto this very day. There are many accounts that I really can't go into because of time and space, after all this a blog and not a book. I always felt throughout my life that I was on the outside looking in through my relationships, marriages and friendships. Even now it seems to have come full circle, with the revelation to my daughter that I am a trans gender woman, I am cast away once again. As was told to me I am dead to them.
Oh I know some of you reading this are thinking oh boo hoo little Bobbie has no one. Well that is true I don't, except for those who really don't know me and that are currently not in my immediate vicinity.. Please don't misunderstand me I am exceedingly thankful for all of you that have attempted to be compassionate, understanding, and loving. However, that still does not negate the reality that the relationships that are most valuable to me no longer exist, which has left my heart ripped open and exposed with me dying in the ditch at the side of the road. So throughout my life I have remained the ugly duckling that everyone has shunned! Why didn't they end my life with an abortion, at least that would have been merciful! You see unlike the well known story I never blossomed into a beautiful swan majestically swimming in the pond, being admired by everyone. I stayed ugly and unwanted, unneeded, and cast away. For all of you who are thinking suck it asshole you deserve all that you get! Try taking a walk in my shoes if you can, and we'll see if you remain so self-righteously critical!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Bobbie's Thoughts: Heartbreak
Bobbie's Thoughts: Heartbreak: "The love of my life, my daughter, has been hurt by me once again by me!. I am wondering whether or not I am just so selfish or what? She..."
Bobbie's Thoughts: Heartbreak
Bobbie's Thoughts: Heartbreak: "The love of my life, my daughter, has been hurt by me once again by me!. I am wondering whether or not I am just so selfish or what? She..."
Bobbie's Thoughts: Bobbie's Thoughts: Me, Myself, & I
Bobbie's Thoughts: Bobbie's Thoughts: Me, Myself, & I: "Bobbie's Thoughts: Me, Myself, & I : 'hi everyone, I thought I would just jot down a few lines about myself. I am a trans gendered woman c..."
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